Psalm 38

O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger,
nor discipline me in your wrath!
For your arrows have sunk into me,
and your hand has come down on me.
There is no soundness in my flesh
because of your indignation;
there is no health in my bones
because of my sin.
For my iniquities have gone over my head;
like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.

My wounds stink and fester
because of my foolishness,
I am utterly bowed down and prostrate;
all the day I go about mourning.
For my sides are filled with burning,
and there is no soundness in my flesh.
I am feeble and crushed;
I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

O Lord, all my longing is before you;
my sighing is not hidden from you.
My heart throbs; my strength fails me,
and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me.
My friends and companions stand aloof from my plague,
and my nearest kin stand far off.

Those who seek my life lay their snares;
those who seek my hurt speak of ruin
and meditate treachery all day long.

But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,
like a mute man who does not open his mouth.
I have become like a man who does not hear,
and in whose mouth are no rebukes.

But for you, O LORD, do I wait;
it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer.
For I said, "Only let them not rejoice over me,
who boast against me when my foot slips!"

For I am ready to fall,
and my pain is ever before me.
I confess my iniquity;
I am sorry for my sin.
But my foes are vigorous, they are mighty,
and many are those who hate me wrongfully.
Those who render me evil for good
accuse me because I follow after good.

Do not forsake me, O LORD!
O my God, be not far from me!
Make haste to help me,
O Lord, my salvation!

(ESV)

Life after school

This summer is coming to an end (maybe it technically has already, I don't know). Its been a productive summer and a fun one. It's been a busy summer with lots of work too. This summer I my realest job yet. What I mean by that is that this is the closest thing to a full time job I have yet. I work 40 hours a week, and will be doing so for the foreseeable future. While I've had a 40-hour-a-week job before. It's only been in the summer. And, at the same time, this job is technically not full time since I am a contract employee. At this point it seems there is a good chance of having my contract extended or being brought on officially as a full-time employee.

My company (www.IHS.com) is developing a international operations center. This is essentially why we are right now, but the idea is that we will be larger and much more equipped to solve our colleagues problems almost immediately instead of escalating to another tier of support all the time. Hopefully this means there's more opportunity for work. However, nothing like that in life is too sure. God may have other plans.

A few other significant things that have happened/been accomplished this summer are that Benjamin and I moved out for the first time ever, I learned to type on the Dvorak keyboard layout, I read George Orwell's '1984', made some new friends, and chose a new church.

I'm praying for God's guidance and provision of wisdom as I make decisions in the future about what to do with my life. There are so many opportunities. Above all I pray that Gods will would be done (and I hope you'll pray for me about this too) as that's where I would be most joyful and most productive.

Thanks for reading,
~Billy

Update 9/4

Hello reader. I feel like I have some things that need writing, but unfortunately I can't pin it down to anything in particular. So, I'll just give you an update on what I've been up to and maybe even keep you till the end of the post.

Ever since arriving home and starting work I've been looking forward to moving out. I thought it might have happened sooner and thought it might have been later. But, I was definitely looking towards sooner. Well, after getting plenty of things situated here we've arrived at the end of summer and somehow my brother and I have worked our way into a pretty nice place at reasonable rent.

I know I just sounded like I've already moved in, but we haven't yet. I think I'm just betraying my excitment at the plans. Soon, however, I can speak as if I have moved out since the plan is for that to happen this weekend. We are trying our best to do well something we've never done in quite this way. Yes, this is the first time we will be living on our own, for the most part. I believe that you can never fully be completely independant (unless you're like this guy ). My brother is moving out for the first time, and I'm moving into an apartment for the first time, though I've moved into the dorms many many times. It's going to be really interesting but exciting I anticipate.

Anyways, my thoughts are that I really love my family, but am really excited to be more independant. I love being on my own, something I'm sure I developed a taste for after being mostly independant at college. Family is awesome but sometimes there are times where (most people I'm sure) family is not awesome.

Well, family is back. Definitely not going to be able to concentrate on anything else worth reading.

Till next time,
Billy A.

Economy of the Rich

Working for someone who is well endowed with economic wealth and assets is almost always a good thing for one such as, perhaps, yourself.

In economy and society we learned the ever present principle of supply and demand which I find applicable to situations ever increasingly. The wealthy person has a large supply (and usually quantity) of those rectangular verde papyri we like to call dollars. Now dollars are an interesting thing. The materials they are made of, though the ones we make today are pretty fancy, are nowhere near what they should be valued at. If I were to give you a stack of paper (even very nice paper) you probably wouldn't give me back anything like a car, a phone, or computer. However, a stack of paper with the right numbers and symbols (money) will cause this to happen. This is because money has two values. One would be the most obvious (or maybe less obvious depending on how you look at it), the value of the materials they're made of. The second would be the value we really might accurately say is mostly imaginary. This is the value we attribute to each piece based on it's number.

Now, down to the point. When there is more supply, there is less demand. And, inextricably related is the fact when there is more quantity there is a lower price because there is less demand. Thanks to modern mass production we see examples of this all the time. I skip the examples. Because of these inherent market mechanics, those with large amounts of dollars put an internal value (a third, imaginary, but no less real value) less than that of one (very probably like yourself) who has less dollars. Because of this, when you or someone in the less dollars position works for someone in the more dollars position you benefit simply because the person who has many more dollars than yourself puts a lower mental value on each dollar. This difference in mental value cause there to be a sort of positive (in your favor) exchange rate of currency through imaginary values without ever leaving the country.

Put very simply it is (very) beneficial for you to work for someone who is much wealthier than yourself because when it comes down to what really happens, this employer pays you more dollars to match their mental impression of what a fair wage is. For example; this is what happens when a somewhat eccentric piano teacher pays you twenty bucks to hand out halloween candy to trick-or-treaters for a half an hour (true story).

So when you're looking for an employer. Work for the rich. That's right. Hop on the caboose of that gravy train and enjoy the view! Of course, this only works if your employer has a personal mental value for their money. A just business employer instead only has one value, the number on the bill.

Do you have a mental value for the dollar?

~Billy

Fate Vs. You

Do you ever have the feeling that fate is conspiring against you? No, I don't mistakenly refer to the hand of God as fate. Fate is not powerful like God it's just the little things like walking along and getting your headphones ripped off because they caught on something. Or, like trying to do something on your computer while on the phone and suddenly you can't find the cursor. But it's back within about 15 seconds. Or, you keep dropping random things for no reason. But, annoying things like that keep happening all day.

Monday.....

~Billy

On a Grassy Knoll

I'm sitting on a grassy hill in the shade feeling the cool breeze drift over me as I stare at a small pond. I feel I cannot thank God enough beyond even this peaceful moment. He has brought me so far and taught me so much. There's too much to describe. Even still I ponder my experience, knowledge, wisdom, and understanding and see that I have in my grasp no more than even a grain of sand within my vault.

Ecclesiastes 1:17

God continues to bless me, even though things don't happen the way I would plan. I keep pondering and my curiosity grows as I think of God's will for me.

Pray for me: that I would continue to grow in my knowledge of Him, that I would be a good example and testimony to the unbelievers around me, that I would be wise in the things I say and do as my life changes in so many ways.

~Billy

New leg of the trip

Well, I'm onto a new chapter in my life. I've just finished getting my bachelor's degree in business and I'm now working and living in Denver. I bought my first car ever last week and now I'm going to be working to finish paying for the education I just got and the car I'm now driving. Life is about to become a lot more normal. It's hard to know how to take it.

I stopped blogging about... well let's see here... the last real thoughtful post I wrote was about two years ago. And those posts came about twice a year or once a semester.

So, I'm thinking it's about time to start writing again. I kind of stopped writing because I felt like I had started to put out more than I had inside. That, and I was really busy. Now that I've had quite a bit more life experience (I know, not a ton, but you can pack a lot into four years of college) I think I'd like to start writing a few things again. Now, it's summer, so things are busy. It still may be too busy to post, getting used to work and looking for new things and getting things taken care of, but I'm hoping to do this more regularly now. I've had a lot of things on my mind that I've wanted to write about. Hopefully I'll get the time to simmer them down into something meaningful and easy to read.

I need a new signature... I transferred my new gmail account to be the author now instead of "Yokanchi" since I feel sort of "grown up" now.

Till next time,

Billy A.

Spring break missions trip Pt. 1

Wrote this during the trip and forgot to post it, so here's a mid-week review:

We're halfway through the mission trip here in WA and we're all getting to know each other very well. We've gotten the church painted and numerous other odd jobs done. We've done a couple services (actually three I think) for bible study and Sunday school and night church. Our music people are really helpful. They've played worship music for four different things I think. Today I got to give a little testimony about my time at the college to a tiny Christian highschool. It was good, I was happy I got a chance to partipate.

(got interrupted here while I was writing this)

This evening we watched Nacho Libre (first time I've seen it), played mafia, and had pizza. Good times for sure. God is blessing in so many ways!

~Yokanchi

iPod

I got an iPod and found a blogging app and I'm tired of thinking to myself. I think this is a good excuse to start blogging again. I think I'd like to start a new blog since I have a new username, but I might just switch to that one.

It's been a long time and I've learned a lot since I stopped blogging and still have much to learn.
The earth is still turning and I'm getting older by the minute. Time to try going to sleep one more time.

~Yokanchi
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone